The conversation, as told by my mother, went something like this:
Dawn: They said I have fibroids... something about being caused by too much caffeine... but feel this one... it's been growing really fast...
My Mom (feeling Dawn's breast as directed by Dawn): Dawn! Oh my god! You need to get that checked out right away!
That was five days ago.
Yesterday, my mom telephoned to tell me this story and to let me know that Dawn was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has a fast-growing, aggressive tumor. They will operate in two weeks to get further information and to see if it has gotten into her lymph nodes. The prognosis is unclear.
And it can happen. Just. Like. That.
Dawn is 33 years old (just three years older than me), a mother to an almost-two-year-old boy, and engaged to be married. At 33, she's never had a mammogram. They say start when you're 40, right?
I felt as though my mom was delivering news about my best friend, or an aunt or a grandma, the way the news crawled into my heart and has remained nestled there. I felt the lump in my throat and a rush of emotions that are normally reserved for those closest to me. Dawn works with my mom, has become a friend (closer to me than an acquaintance), and is just working at raising her little boy the best she can.
And now this.
If you are wearing your pink ribbon this month for no one in particular, but for everyone in general, maybe you can wear it for Dawn.
Just thought I'd ask.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Damn!
Current Weight: 181
Wooo Hoooo! Back to my low... back to an official 48 pound loss!
This time I mean it: 170s, Here I Come!!!!
Wooo Hoooo! Back to my low... back to an official 48 pound loss!
This time I mean it: 170s, Here I Come!!!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Whew!
Today's weight: 185
I obviously had some major water-weight gain going on because who loses five pounds overnight? I mean, I did stick to Kimkins very strictly yesterday so that helped, and I tell ya, it was very nice to see the scale drop so quickly. I'll be at my all-time low of 181 very soon, and then will come the moment of 179 where I will be down 50 lbs. since the beginning of my journey.
We're hitting the YMCA just about every day. Yesterday I started using the machines for weight training. I am going to do my 30 min. of treadmill (at 20-25% incline and 3.8 mph) every day, and on M,W,F I am going to hit the machines. The part of my body that I am really interested in toning up is my thighs. The Walrus says my butt has really shrunk, and I would love to get rid of this jiggly belly but I am not sure if there is a way. Let's face it, I carried a 9 lb 7 oz baby, followed by an 11 lb 12 oz baby. Big babies does not a flat tummy make.
In other news, I have been on a job search for a few months now, with some serious serious searching in the past few weeks. On my 30th birthday, I interviewed for a position with a health care organization (Helloooo! Great benefits!) and yesterday they phoned to let me know they were checking my references. The Walrus thinks the job is mine. It'll mean great money, great benefits (oh, did I already mention that?), and an "in" at an organization that could really help advance my career. The downside? The hours. 3p-11p, with alternating weekends and holidays. That means missing my childrens' bedtime 5 out of 7 nights per week. That would also mean that if I am still employed there next fall, when Miss Serious is in all-day Kindergarten, I would see her before school each morning and that's it for 5 out of 7 days. That feels wrong to me. Can you imagine seeing your kids for an hour or so a day? Granted, I would have two complete days off with her, but that just doesn't feel like enough for me. How will I keep up with her goings-on? Will our relationship suffer? These are the thoughts that go through my head as I sit and hope for this job because we need the money so bad.
It doesn't help to have an unsympathetic MIL who says "You're 30 now. It's time to do what the rest of the world is doing." As IF I have been squatting in my parents' basement for 12 years deciding what I want to do with my life. I've been raising my children! How offensive.
Anyway, there is my story. As The Walrus says, we'll cross each bridge as we come to it. And he's right. But I just like to have a strong enough pair of binoculars to be able to see each bridge up ahead and have the plan all laid out, so when we cross it, there are no surprises.
Is that so wrong?
I obviously had some major water-weight gain going on because who loses five pounds overnight? I mean, I did stick to Kimkins very strictly yesterday so that helped, and I tell ya, it was very nice to see the scale drop so quickly. I'll be at my all-time low of 181 very soon, and then will come the moment of 179 where I will be down 50 lbs. since the beginning of my journey.
We're hitting the YMCA just about every day. Yesterday I started using the machines for weight training. I am going to do my 30 min. of treadmill (at 20-25% incline and 3.8 mph) every day, and on M,W,F I am going to hit the machines. The part of my body that I am really interested in toning up is my thighs. The Walrus says my butt has really shrunk, and I would love to get rid of this jiggly belly but I am not sure if there is a way. Let's face it, I carried a 9 lb 7 oz baby, followed by an 11 lb 12 oz baby. Big babies does not a flat tummy make.
In other news, I have been on a job search for a few months now, with some serious serious searching in the past few weeks. On my 30th birthday, I interviewed for a position with a health care organization (Helloooo! Great benefits!) and yesterday they phoned to let me know they were checking my references. The Walrus thinks the job is mine. It'll mean great money, great benefits (oh, did I already mention that?), and an "in" at an organization that could really help advance my career. The downside? The hours. 3p-11p, with alternating weekends and holidays. That means missing my childrens' bedtime 5 out of 7 nights per week. That would also mean that if I am still employed there next fall, when Miss Serious is in all-day Kindergarten, I would see her before school each morning and that's it for 5 out of 7 days. That feels wrong to me. Can you imagine seeing your kids for an hour or so a day? Granted, I would have two complete days off with her, but that just doesn't feel like enough for me. How will I keep up with her goings-on? Will our relationship suffer? These are the thoughts that go through my head as I sit and hope for this job because we need the money so bad.
It doesn't help to have an unsympathetic MIL who says "You're 30 now. It's time to do what the rest of the world is doing." As IF I have been squatting in my parents' basement for 12 years deciding what I want to do with my life. I've been raising my children! How offensive.
Anyway, there is my story. As The Walrus says, we'll cross each bridge as we come to it. And he's right. But I just like to have a strong enough pair of binoculars to be able to see each bridge up ahead and have the plan all laid out, so when we cross it, there are no surprises.
Is that so wrong?
Monday, October 8, 2007
So, uh, yeah...
Current Weight: 190
Yup. I've gained 8 lbs. How? Just not watching what I eat, and indulging in some foods that I had been avoiding for a long time. It's kind of crazy that I'd gain so much in such a short period of time, but I am also on my period so perhaps some of it can be attributed to that.
So, part of the program for self-motivation is to hold myself accountable and weigh-in every day, and post my weight so I can't lie to myself or my two readers (ha ha!).
My plan is to stick to Kimkins because I know the weight will come off fast. I know losing fast isn't the healthiest way and I know Kimkins is controversial, but it is motivating to watch the weight come off fast, and we are looking toward trying to get pregnant after the first of the year, and I need to be a healthier vessel for a baby to grow. Besides, I'd rather get to a normal weight fast than sit at "obese" on the charts for any longer.
Still working out nearly every day. Also had some Reiki done. I've also made the decision to make this blog about overall health and wellness, as I know good mental health is just as important as physical health. And those close to me know I could use a good mental/emotional cleansing.
More to come later... but for now, yes, I am back to 190 lbs... and after I just bought a pair of 16 petite pants (as opposed to 16W!!). They still fit, though.
Yup. I've gained 8 lbs. How? Just not watching what I eat, and indulging in some foods that I had been avoiding for a long time. It's kind of crazy that I'd gain so much in such a short period of time, but I am also on my period so perhaps some of it can be attributed to that.
So, part of the program for self-motivation is to hold myself accountable and weigh-in every day, and post my weight so I can't lie to myself or my two readers (ha ha!).
My plan is to stick to Kimkins because I know the weight will come off fast. I know losing fast isn't the healthiest way and I know Kimkins is controversial, but it is motivating to watch the weight come off fast, and we are looking toward trying to get pregnant after the first of the year, and I need to be a healthier vessel for a baby to grow. Besides, I'd rather get to a normal weight fast than sit at "obese" on the charts for any longer.
Still working out nearly every day. Also had some Reiki done. I've also made the decision to make this blog about overall health and wellness, as I know good mental health is just as important as physical health. And those close to me know I could use a good mental/emotional cleansing.
More to come later... but for now, yes, I am back to 190 lbs... and after I just bought a pair of 16 petite pants (as opposed to 16W!!). They still fit, though.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Lost: Nicole Richie
Okay, don't forget to scroll down to my new Future MILF Weigh-in post after reading this, but in it I forgot to mention that the weight loss total between The Walrus and I is as follows:
The Walrus: 37
Me: 48
Total: 85 lbs. = (pre-pregnancy) Nicole Richie!
We have lost ONE WHOLE PERSON between the two of us. If she weren't so tragic, it would be funny.
The Walrus: 37
Me: 48
Total: 85 lbs. = (pre-pregnancy) Nicole Richie!
We have lost ONE WHOLE PERSON between the two of us. If she weren't so tragic, it would be funny.
Future MILF Weigh-In: A New Low...
...but in a GOOD way!
Previous weight: 188
Current weight: 181
Total lost since June 4th: 48 lbs
This was my weight on Saturday, 9/22, the morning of my surprise 30th birthday party (but I won't be 30 until the 28th, so I am still in my 20s, people. Make no mistake!). I am entering new territory, and soon I'll be in the 170s.
It doesn't seem as though I am dropping clothes sizes as much as I should be - I was at about a 20w (18/20, usually), and my 16Ws are loose now. I guess I thought I'd be shopping at the regular girls' stores by now. Though, admittedly, I haven't tried anything on yet. My dream is to shop at GAP again. I'm gonna be a GAP MILF.
I have set some goals with rewards and I am going to post them here to make them "official".
179 by 9/28: Reward: Being down 50 lbs by my 30th birthday. Damn!
169: New pair of jeans. While I have not dropped sizes like I thought I would, the novelty of the baggy, falling-off-my-ass jeans has definitely worn off. Time to wear some clothes that fit. GAP MILF, not Hip-Hop Mama.
159: Papaya Enzyme Facial - scrum-diddly-umptious!
149: Haircut and highlights
139: More new jeans
127: Goal Weight! New tattoo, new wardrobe, and unprotected sex (read: trying to get pregnant). And of course, OFFICIAL MILF-DOM!!!!
The Walrus wants me to get a pair of shorts or sweats with words on the butt. Help me decide between "CUTIE", "JUICY", or "UWM". Ha.
My BMI has dropped from 42 to 34.7.
In other news, I have a job interview on Friday. Please do wish me luck. I need to be able to afford to go grocery shopping again.
Finishing up the birthday food and it's back to the plan tomorrow. Watch for my entrance into the 170s by Friday!
Ciao, baby.
Previous weight: 188
Current weight: 181
Total lost since June 4th: 48 lbs
This was my weight on Saturday, 9/22, the morning of my surprise 30th birthday party (but I won't be 30 until the 28th, so I am still in my 20s, people. Make no mistake!). I am entering new territory, and soon I'll be in the 170s.
It doesn't seem as though I am dropping clothes sizes as much as I should be - I was at about a 20w (18/20, usually), and my 16Ws are loose now. I guess I thought I'd be shopping at the regular girls' stores by now. Though, admittedly, I haven't tried anything on yet. My dream is to shop at GAP again. I'm gonna be a GAP MILF.
I have set some goals with rewards and I am going to post them here to make them "official".
179 by 9/28: Reward: Being down 50 lbs by my 30th birthday. Damn!
169: New pair of jeans. While I have not dropped sizes like I thought I would, the novelty of the baggy, falling-off-my-ass jeans has definitely worn off. Time to wear some clothes that fit. GAP MILF, not Hip-Hop Mama.
159: Papaya Enzyme Facial - scrum-diddly-umptious!
149: Haircut and highlights
139: More new jeans
127: Goal Weight! New tattoo, new wardrobe, and unprotected sex (read: trying to get pregnant). And of course, OFFICIAL MILF-DOM!!!!
The Walrus wants me to get a pair of shorts or sweats with words on the butt. Help me decide between "CUTIE", "JUICY", or "UWM". Ha.
My BMI has dropped from 42 to 34.7.
In other news, I have a job interview on Friday. Please do wish me luck. I need to be able to afford to go grocery shopping again.
Finishing up the birthday food and it's back to the plan tomorrow. Watch for my entrance into the 170s by Friday!
Ciao, baby.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Restarting again...
Today is another day to recommit to the recent weight-loss efforts. I didn't post my Weigh-in on Friday because I had nothing new to report.
How is that for accountability?
I enjoyed about 3 lbs. of salad at Olive Garden on Friday (thank you, Miffy!), but then I had to go and eat oh-I'll-just-have-half-make-that-a-whole-no-make-that-two breadsticks. Also, my fondness for the PB&J is taking over my life. Yes, I've eaten it on a spoon, but I've had it on bread (GAH! Carbs??), too.
I've cheated on Kimkins. Heh.
So, the scale is still moving downward, thank goodness. I am aiming for 170 by my 30th birthday (September 28, for those who don't know or can never seem to remember. LOL).
So, it's egg whites, tuna, and chicken breasts for me.
In other news, Miss Serious is starting SCHOOL next week. Holy fuck.
How is that for accountability?
I enjoyed about 3 lbs. of salad at Olive Garden on Friday (thank you, Miffy!), but then I had to go and eat oh-I'll-just-have-half-make-that-a-whole-no-make-that-two breadsticks. Also, my fondness for the PB&J is taking over my life. Yes, I've eaten it on a spoon, but I've had it on bread (GAH! Carbs??), too.
I've cheated on Kimkins. Heh.
So, the scale is still moving downward, thank goodness. I am aiming for 170 by my 30th birthday (September 28, for those who don't know or can never seem to remember. LOL).
So, it's egg whites, tuna, and chicken breasts for me.
In other news, Miss Serious is starting SCHOOL next week. Holy fuck.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Future MILF Weigh-In (This one's for The Walrus)
Starting Weight: 229
Previous Weight: 190
Current Weight: 188
Pounds lost: 2
Total lost: 41
Well, two pounds since Saturday shouldn't be anything to sneeze at, but I am not quite sure why the scale didn't move better this week. My only thought is that I just wasn't consuming enough calories. That happens with me. I get so bored with the options that I just forgo them altogether.
Don't get me wrong... I am in the 180s now, and I am thrilled with that.
I have to say that through all of this -the losses, the stalls, the cravings, the giving in of cravings - the one thing that sticks out as my beacon is The Walrus. He is a constant positive reinforcement for all of my dedication and hard work. Nearly daily, he tells me he is proud of me. Daily he looks at me and says, "I can really tell". Daily he says, "You can do it, baby!" And it's not because he has to say it. He means it.
I might not have as much strength if he weren't by my side in the journey. I'm pretty sure of it. He is someone I can always count on, someone I have always counted on. Even when I confess to a treat cheat, he let's me know that I haven't failed. That is important to me.
He is important to me. And this post is for him.
(not that the dedication of a weight-loss post is all that special, but I think he'll appreciate it?)
Previous Weight: 190
Current Weight: 188
Pounds lost: 2
Total lost: 41
Well, two pounds since Saturday shouldn't be anything to sneeze at, but I am not quite sure why the scale didn't move better this week. My only thought is that I just wasn't consuming enough calories. That happens with me. I get so bored with the options that I just forgo them altogether.
Don't get me wrong... I am in the 180s now, and I am thrilled with that.
I have to say that through all of this -the losses, the stalls, the cravings, the giving in of cravings - the one thing that sticks out as my beacon is The Walrus. He is a constant positive reinforcement for all of my dedication and hard work. Nearly daily, he tells me he is proud of me. Daily he looks at me and says, "I can really tell". Daily he says, "You can do it, baby!" And it's not because he has to say it. He means it.
I might not have as much strength if he weren't by my side in the journey. I'm pretty sure of it. He is someone I can always count on, someone I have always counted on. Even when I confess to a treat cheat, he let's me know that I haven't failed. That is important to me.
He is important to me. And this post is for him.
(not that the dedication of a weight-loss post is all that special, but I think he'll appreciate it?)
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Future MILF Weigh-In
Oy! I didn't realize that I wasn't being a good Future MILFer! Here goes:
Starting Weight: 229
Last Weigh-In: 198
Current Weight-In: 190
Pounds Lost: 8
Total Lost: 39
This was as of Saturday, August 11.
The sizes are going down. 16W pants fit quite perfectly, if not a little on the loose sides, and I'm even starting to try on, and fit into, clothing from the Misses section.
The Walrus is in a constant state of "noticing", which really helps in endeavors such as these. When he hugs me, he notices. When I am changing my clothes, he notices. Sex is even better, people! Less tummy between the both of us. He says my butt is shrinking (Praise the Lawrd!), and I think my bra size has gone down from a 42-44DD to a 40D.
My confidence is soaring, too. I mean, yeah, I'm still 190 lbs. at 5'1" which is nothing to brag about, but I feel much sexier. Curvy.
I've seen some flak about Kimkins lately, and frankly, I can't say I disagree with everything written. But, if nothing else, it's taught me some things about myself. For instance, a Value Meal needn't be consumed at 10:00 pm just because I am passing by the Golden Arches. It's okay to consume meat not surrounded by sugary white dough. I don't need cheese on everything, either.
I worked out five days this week. Got "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne on my iPod and it just makes me rock out. I also picked up Kelly Clarkson's My December album which is GOOD (check out track 4, "Sober" - delish! Not a good workout song, however, except for a cool down), but I could use some workout song suggestions.
Please scroll down and read my "Imagine" post.
P.S. Miffy, your heartache is my heartache. I'm thinking of you always.
Starting Weight: 229
Last Weigh-In: 198
Current Weight-In: 190
Pounds Lost: 8
Total Lost: 39
This was as of Saturday, August 11.
The sizes are going down. 16W pants fit quite perfectly, if not a little on the loose sides, and I'm even starting to try on, and fit into, clothing from the Misses section.
The Walrus is in a constant state of "noticing", which really helps in endeavors such as these. When he hugs me, he notices. When I am changing my clothes, he notices. Sex is even better, people! Less tummy between the both of us. He says my butt is shrinking (Praise the Lawrd!), and I think my bra size has gone down from a 42-44DD to a 40D.
My confidence is soaring, too. I mean, yeah, I'm still 190 lbs. at 5'1" which is nothing to brag about, but I feel much sexier. Curvy.
I've seen some flak about Kimkins lately, and frankly, I can't say I disagree with everything written. But, if nothing else, it's taught me some things about myself. For instance, a Value Meal needn't be consumed at 10:00 pm just because I am passing by the Golden Arches. It's okay to consume meat not surrounded by sugary white dough. I don't need cheese on everything, either.
I worked out five days this week. Got "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne on my iPod and it just makes me rock out. I also picked up Kelly Clarkson's My December album which is GOOD (check out track 4, "Sober" - delish! Not a good workout song, however, except for a cool down), but I could use some workout song suggestions.
Please scroll down and read my "Imagine" post.
P.S. Miffy, your heartache is my heartache. I'm thinking of you always.
Imagine
Stealing this from Oh, The Joys and It Is What It Is. Perhaps if enough women see it and get the goosebumps, they will begin to imagine it, too.
Imagine A Woman
Patricia Lynn Reilly
Imagine a woman
who believes it is right and good she is woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.
Imagine a woman
who believes she is good.
A woman who trusts and respects herself.
Who listens to her needs and desires and meets them with tenderness and grace.
Imagine a woman
who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.
Imagine a woman
who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and to her wisest voice.
Imagine a woman
who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs her own spirituality and allows it to inform her daily life.
Imagine a woman
in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body and its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.
Imagine a woman
who honors the face of the Goddess in her changing face.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life energy disguising the changes in her body and life.
Imagine a woman
who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.
Imagine yourself as this woman.
Copyright 1995 Patricia Lynn Reilly
Imagine A Woman
Patricia Lynn Reilly
Imagine a woman
who believes it is right and good she is woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.
Imagine a woman
who believes she is good.
A woman who trusts and respects herself.
Who listens to her needs and desires and meets them with tenderness and grace.
Imagine a woman
who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.
Imagine a woman
who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and to her wisest voice.
Imagine a woman
who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs her own spirituality and allows it to inform her daily life.
Imagine a woman
in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body and its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.
Imagine a woman
who honors the face of the Goddess in her changing face.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life energy disguising the changes in her body and life.
Imagine a woman
who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.
Imagine yourself as this woman.
Copyright 1995 Patricia Lynn Reilly
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Ya Want Fries With That?
I recently began the journey of looking for a full-time job. We are in such a way that we need me to start bringing in some income. I have my Masters' degree in Clinical Psychology, which is pretty much useless without 3000 supervised hours, which I haven't gotten because I've been a SAHM for the past five years.
I've applied for a position within the Dept. of Corrections that would utilize my degree, and so far that is the only place that has received my resume.
I was speaking with a friend of mine last week and casually brought up that I might be interested in looking into becoming a Personal Assistant. (The idea of organizing and scheduling someone else's life really appeals to me.) He says to me, "Actually, I'm looking for just that and you were the first person I thought of."
To make a long story short, I will be earning a very nice compensation for becoming his new P.A., working from home 85% of the time, and may even be doing some traveling with him (day trips). I will be gaining experience in a new field and best of all, I will still be able to stay home and raise my children.
The Walrus is opening up a whole bunch of doors for himself in the writing field. Note: If flying Midwest Express in November or December, look for a Milwaukee-centered article written by him!!
Things are starting to really change in this Year of the Pig. Fortune will find it's way into our home, pounds and pounds of fat will find it's way out (The Walrus and I are at something like 54 combined pounds lost). I have a friend who just received surprising, but excellent news, and I hope that similar news will eventually find it's way into our lives again. Right now, I'm content being a mother of two, but I will not give up on the dream to add to our family.
I just feel like saying...
... have Peace, my friends.
I've applied for a position within the Dept. of Corrections that would utilize my degree, and so far that is the only place that has received my resume.
I was speaking with a friend of mine last week and casually brought up that I might be interested in looking into becoming a Personal Assistant. (The idea of organizing and scheduling someone else's life really appeals to me.) He says to me, "Actually, I'm looking for just that and you were the first person I thought of."
To make a long story short, I will be earning a very nice compensation for becoming his new P.A., working from home 85% of the time, and may even be doing some traveling with him (day trips). I will be gaining experience in a new field and best of all, I will still be able to stay home and raise my children.
The Walrus is opening up a whole bunch of doors for himself in the writing field. Note: If flying Midwest Express in November or December, look for a Milwaukee-centered article written by him!!
Things are starting to really change in this Year of the Pig. Fortune will find it's way into our home, pounds and pounds of fat will find it's way out (The Walrus and I are at something like 54 combined pounds lost). I have a friend who just received surprising, but excellent news, and I hope that similar news will eventually find it's way into our lives again. Right now, I'm content being a mother of two, but I will not give up on the dream to add to our family.
I just feel like saying...
... have Peace, my friends.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Future MILF Weigh-In
Start Weight: 229
Last Weigh-in: 200
Current Weight: 198
Loss: 2 lb
Total loss: 31 lbs
FINALLY!! I have entered ONEDERLAND once again, never to return. Seriously. I'm sick of my weight starting with a "2". F*%& you, 200s! You're gone forever!!!!
I had a major stall going on this week. Stuck at 200. It was taunting me, teasing me, saying "I won't let you lose 30, I won't let you get to onederland." But I kicked it's taunting ass, baby!
Kimkins works when you work it, people!
Here is a little email from my hubby after I told him I lost 2 lbs this morning (yeah, that's right... I lost it just in time for my MILF post today).
Hope he doesn't mind that I post it.
Isn't he the greatest!
Here's to you reaching your goals! 'Til next time...
Last Weigh-in: 200
Current Weight: 198
Loss: 2 lb
Total loss: 31 lbs
FINALLY!! I have entered ONEDERLAND once again, never to return. Seriously. I'm sick of my weight starting with a "2". F*%& you, 200s! You're gone forever!!!!
I had a major stall going on this week. Stuck at 200. It was taunting me, teasing me, saying "I won't let you lose 30, I won't let you get to onederland." But I kicked it's taunting ass, baby!
Kimkins works when you work it, people!
Here is a little email from my hubby after I told him I lost 2 lbs this morning (yeah, that's right... I lost it just in time for my MILF post today).
Hope he doesn't mind that I post it.
Just wanted to reiterate once again, how very, very,very proud I am of you for sticking to it and reaching onederland. Frustrating as it has been, you never gave up. You're well on your way to your final goal, and will get there. And I couldn't be happier for you.
Isn't he the greatest!
Here's to you reaching your goals! 'Til next time...
Friday, July 20, 2007
Future MILF Weigh-In
Start Weight: 229
Previous Weight: 203
Current Weight: 200
Lbs. lost: 3
Total Lost: 29
Gahhhh! I've been hanging around at 200 for a couple days. I have been pushing to lose that one little pound to get to a 30 lb. loss and to get back into onederland (forever). Well, I technically have until tomorrow to hit my 199 goal. I have a 4 lb. per week goal, from Saturday to Saturday, which would put me at 127 by the end of November. That one little pound is nagging at me, taunting me, like an unwanted party guest who you wish would have left around 7pm but is staying to the wee hours of the morning. Out, damned pound!
I got to the YMCA three times so far this week, with plans to go again tonight. Last night I only got a 20 min. workout in due to some plans I had with Supermiffy, but I made sure to work it hard in those 20 minutes, burning 311 calories.
I had to attend a funeral the other day and I felt so uncomfortable in my clothes, but for different reasons than usual. Everything was too big. It's rather uncouth to hook your fingers inside your pants and hitch them up when at a funeral, but it had to be done. My 18Ws are about to be history. When I am out of that size for good, I am getting rid of them. Kimkins has a clothing exchange thing going, so I'll probably utilize that.
Wish me luck on that pound. And by my calculations, I should be down to 195ish this time next week, so stay tuned fellow MILFers.
Previous Weight: 203
Current Weight: 200
Lbs. lost: 3
Total Lost: 29
Gahhhh! I've been hanging around at 200 for a couple days. I have been pushing to lose that one little pound to get to a 30 lb. loss and to get back into onederland (forever). Well, I technically have until tomorrow to hit my 199 goal. I have a 4 lb. per week goal, from Saturday to Saturday, which would put me at 127 by the end of November. That one little pound is nagging at me, taunting me, like an unwanted party guest who you wish would have left around 7pm but is staying to the wee hours of the morning. Out, damned pound!
I got to the YMCA three times so far this week, with plans to go again tonight. Last night I only got a 20 min. workout in due to some plans I had with Supermiffy, but I made sure to work it hard in those 20 minutes, burning 311 calories.
I had to attend a funeral the other day and I felt so uncomfortable in my clothes, but for different reasons than usual. Everything was too big. It's rather uncouth to hook your fingers inside your pants and hitch them up when at a funeral, but it had to be done. My 18Ws are about to be history. When I am out of that size for good, I am getting rid of them. Kimkins has a clothing exchange thing going, so I'll probably utilize that.
Wish me luck on that pound. And by my calculations, I should be down to 195ish this time next week, so stay tuned fellow MILFers.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
It Was A Good Day!
Today, the girls and I went to Bay Beach with their grandparents. What an amazing place that costs little ($.25 per ticket, and the rides are not more than 2 tickets; kiddie rides are one), even at the concession stands. I think a hamburger was $1.50. (Don't get the chicken filet - it's fried!). After several rides, watching the smiles on my girls' faces, lunch, ice cream (none for me, of course), and a terrible storm that knocked over a tree, we headed home. We were tired, dirty, stinky, and oh-so-happy. Miss Serious asked that I get a job there so she can be there every day while I work. A two-hour ride is a bit much for a commute, my dear, but I do love your enthusiasm!
We stopped at home to get The Walrus and then headed to the YMCA. My dear friend, Supermiffy, called and talked me into joining a Body Pump class with her tonight. I couldn't bear not to do my usual workout, but time only allowed me 15 minutes for it, and I burned 235 cals. in that time. Well, then I did Body Pump for an hour. I hate that workout, but it hurts so good. It's a cardio/strength training mix, and I am not very strong. Ah, well, I worked out for an hour and half today, so THERE! LOL.
We got a new dog and I have to stop being a brokeass SAHMama and get a job. More on those updates later.
Going to watch Aliens, now. I've never seen it.
P.S. Go see 1408. It's great, and John Cusack totally rocks my boat.
We stopped at home to get The Walrus and then headed to the YMCA. My dear friend, Supermiffy, called and talked me into joining a Body Pump class with her tonight. I couldn't bear not to do my usual workout, but time only allowed me 15 minutes for it, and I burned 235 cals. in that time. Well, then I did Body Pump for an hour. I hate that workout, but it hurts so good. It's a cardio/strength training mix, and I am not very strong. Ah, well, I worked out for an hour and half today, so THERE! LOL.
We got a new dog and I have to stop being a brokeass SAHMama and get a job. More on those updates later.
Going to watch Aliens, now. I've never seen it.
P.S. Go see 1408. It's great, and John Cusack totally rocks my boat.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
On December 31st, 2006 I woke up in Newton, MA, right outside of Boston. We were on a mini-vacation for the holiday. I was 13.5 weeks pregnant with my third child.
The bleeding began at about 5:00 a.m. and I knew it wasn't good. I had bleeding in the beginning, but an ultrasound at 9 weeks showed a baby with a heartbeat. I thought I was in the clear. I spent the following 4 weeks under the impression that I was carrying a growing baby. I was even convinced that I was feeling flutters.
Anyway, the bleeding began and when my husband woke up I said we should go to the hospital.
To make a long story short, that baby must have stopped growing shortly after my wonderful ultrasound and we left that baby in the hospital on New Year's Eve. It is a very painful memory of a very painful experience.
It took me a few weeks to decide to get on with life instead of eating my way through it. I joined Weight Watchers, lost a few pounds, then gave it up. I really had no desire to take care of myself or my body. Rather, I wanted to defile it, punish it, fill it with poison.
But after seeing my doctor for my annual exam, I decided that I didn't need to continue to hate my body for losing that baby. I could take control of it and create a healthier environment in which to grow the next baby to full term.
The Walrus and I are not trying to get pregnant right now. In fact, we are actively avoiding it. My reward for getting to a healthy, non-obese weight will be to try to have another baby. It is only fair to the baby, to me, and to my poor body that reaches weights of great proportions when I am pregnant and obese. I delivered an 11 lb. 12 oz baby (via c-section) in 2005.
That's the reason for all this craziness. It's not just about being cute pregnant, you know, like those women with the little basketball bellies that just look adorable and not like they swallowed a hippo. But it's about being a healthy vessel in which that baby will grow.
I am not saying that I lost that baby because I am overweight, but that baby is on my mind right now because he or she would have been born this week. I was due on July 4th.
Independence Day.
So, I am doing it for me, for my health, and for the health of my next pregnancy. I am doing it because I have to, and it's time for me to stop being selfish.
Just some thoughts I wanted to get down somewhere.
The bleeding began at about 5:00 a.m. and I knew it wasn't good. I had bleeding in the beginning, but an ultrasound at 9 weeks showed a baby with a heartbeat. I thought I was in the clear. I spent the following 4 weeks under the impression that I was carrying a growing baby. I was even convinced that I was feeling flutters.
Anyway, the bleeding began and when my husband woke up I said we should go to the hospital.
To make a long story short, that baby must have stopped growing shortly after my wonderful ultrasound and we left that baby in the hospital on New Year's Eve. It is a very painful memory of a very painful experience.
It took me a few weeks to decide to get on with life instead of eating my way through it. I joined Weight Watchers, lost a few pounds, then gave it up. I really had no desire to take care of myself or my body. Rather, I wanted to defile it, punish it, fill it with poison.
But after seeing my doctor for my annual exam, I decided that I didn't need to continue to hate my body for losing that baby. I could take control of it and create a healthier environment in which to grow the next baby to full term.
The Walrus and I are not trying to get pregnant right now. In fact, we are actively avoiding it. My reward for getting to a healthy, non-obese weight will be to try to have another baby. It is only fair to the baby, to me, and to my poor body that reaches weights of great proportions when I am pregnant and obese. I delivered an 11 lb. 12 oz baby (via c-section) in 2005.
That's the reason for all this craziness. It's not just about being cute pregnant, you know, like those women with the little basketball bellies that just look adorable and not like they swallowed a hippo. But it's about being a healthy vessel in which that baby will grow.
I am not saying that I lost that baby because I am overweight, but that baby is on my mind right now because he or she would have been born this week. I was due on July 4th.
Independence Day.
So, I am doing it for me, for my health, and for the health of my next pregnancy. I am doing it because I have to, and it's time for me to stop being selfish.
Just some thoughts I wanted to get down somewhere.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Future MILF Weigh-In... Via Alaska
Last weigh-in weight: --6
Current weight: --6
Pounds lost: 0
Total Lost: 23 lbs.
Thankfully, actually, the scale hasn't budged. Actually, last Saturday, the day we left for Alaska, I was up two pounds, but I wound up getting my period that day, so that explains that. I didn't weigh again until Tuesday, where I was back down to --6, and that is where I sit today. I am happy with this. While I would have liked to lose while on vacation, I am fine with not gaining, either.
It is very hard to do Kimkins on vacation, but I am trying. We get a gourmet breakfast every day that always includes an egg dish, but I am not certain how the eggs are made - probably with milk. I have had some sausage, but have skipped all the toast, fruit, bread and dessert products. I have been doing well that way. Sometimes I have "cheated" and had a wrap sandwich with the wrap, or a little too much dressing (I don't always know the content of everything I am eating, whereas at home, I am pretty much on top of that). I am not charting on Fitday, but will return to that once I get back home.
I really have a serious eating problem, I think. I contemplate quitting this plan at least six times a day (especially when I saw the chocolate-filled pie at the Farmer's Market). I think of all the things I could eat, and I could binge! The amount of food out there that I shouldn't be eating far outweighs what I can eat, and it's torture! But, I just keep thinking about how much it would set me back, how much I really fucking want to be a MILF, and I also think about how 23 lbs. gone has made my hips stop hurting when I get out of the car, my feet stop hurting in the morning when I get out of bed, how it made that dress fit when it didn't fit a few weeks ago, how I can bend over at the waist without losing my breath, how I easily cross my legs, how my pants/capris hang off of me, how I can see myself smaller in the mirror, how I only have 7 more pounds until 30 gone (and that will mark another major goal), how Miss Serious comments daily on how I look smaller, how I don't cringe at looking at my reflection in store windows...
Need I say more? Check out Milfy on the right side of this page. That is (sort of) what I will look like at 130, which I believe is at the top of my range for my height of 5'1". Should I go farther than that? We will see. All I know is I feel better about myself, my strength, my choices.
It's so worth it.
Current weight: --6
Pounds lost: 0
Total Lost: 23 lbs.
Thankfully, actually, the scale hasn't budged. Actually, last Saturday, the day we left for Alaska, I was up two pounds, but I wound up getting my period that day, so that explains that. I didn't weigh again until Tuesday, where I was back down to --6, and that is where I sit today. I am happy with this. While I would have liked to lose while on vacation, I am fine with not gaining, either.
It is very hard to do Kimkins on vacation, but I am trying. We get a gourmet breakfast every day that always includes an egg dish, but I am not certain how the eggs are made - probably with milk. I have had some sausage, but have skipped all the toast, fruit, bread and dessert products. I have been doing well that way. Sometimes I have "cheated" and had a wrap sandwich with the wrap, or a little too much dressing (I don't always know the content of everything I am eating, whereas at home, I am pretty much on top of that). I am not charting on Fitday, but will return to that once I get back home.
I really have a serious eating problem, I think. I contemplate quitting this plan at least six times a day (especially when I saw the chocolate-filled pie at the Farmer's Market). I think of all the things I could eat, and I could binge! The amount of food out there that I shouldn't be eating far outweighs what I can eat, and it's torture! But, I just keep thinking about how much it would set me back, how much I really fucking want to be a MILF, and I also think about how 23 lbs. gone has made my hips stop hurting when I get out of the car, my feet stop hurting in the morning when I get out of bed, how it made that dress fit when it didn't fit a few weeks ago, how I can bend over at the waist without losing my breath, how I easily cross my legs, how my pants/capris hang off of me, how I can see myself smaller in the mirror, how I only have 7 more pounds until 30 gone (and that will mark another major goal), how Miss Serious comments daily on how I look smaller, how I don't cringe at looking at my reflection in store windows...
Need I say more? Check out Milfy on the right side of this page. That is (sort of) what I will look like at 130, which I believe is at the top of my range for my height of 5'1". Should I go farther than that? We will see. All I know is I feel better about myself, my strength, my choices.
It's so worth it.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Future MILF Weigh-In
Starting Weight: --9
Previous Weight: --2 (down 17)
Current Weight: --6 (down 6)
Total Lost: 23 lbs!
That is, 19 on Kimkins and 4 on my own. WOOO HOO. That is 23 lbs in 25 days!
I woke up on Wednesday morning and had my WOOOOSH! 3 lbs. gone overnight (I think this is due in part to some very strenuous activity just a few short hours before. Hee hee). Amazing!! The Walrus is so proud of me, and that helps me be proud.
People still aren't quite noticing yet, but after I told my best friend about it, she mentioned it to her husband who said I was a hottie (read: I'm gonna be a MILF soon!!) and he could tell I had lost weight. Awesome, baby! Fucking awesome.
We are leaving for Alaska tomorrow and I am determined to stick to my plan. I could probably undo half, or more, of all that I have done and what the hell sense does that make.
I have made it through bonfires w/ smores, birthdays w/ desserts, etc. I can certainly stay on plan while in America's Last Frontier.
I have made little tiny cheats here and there without any real punishment (maybe maintaining when I could have lost), but no more cheating now.
I just had an egg white omelet for lunch, and it looked like dessert:
1/2 c egg whites
Several drops Milk Chocolate Liquid Stevia (an artificial sweetener w/o carbs, calories, sugar)
top with: Redi Whip, Walden Farms Sugar-Free Chocolate Sauce, and perhaps some cinnamon if it floats your boat.
YUMMY!!!!! I took a picture that I'll have to post later (because our real internet took a dump and I'm stealing this signal). I was amazed at how tasty it looked, and how tasty it was.
Probably won't post again until at least a week from now... not sure if I'll have a scale.
Join KIMKINS now, people!!
Previous Weight: --2 (down 17)
Current Weight: --6 (down 6)
Total Lost: 23 lbs!
That is, 19 on Kimkins and 4 on my own. WOOO HOO. That is 23 lbs in 25 days!
I woke up on Wednesday morning and had my WOOOOSH! 3 lbs. gone overnight (I think this is due in part to some very strenuous activity just a few short hours before. Hee hee). Amazing!! The Walrus is so proud of me, and that helps me be proud.
People still aren't quite noticing yet, but after I told my best friend about it, she mentioned it to her husband who said I was a hottie (read: I'm gonna be a MILF soon!!) and he could tell I had lost weight. Awesome, baby! Fucking awesome.
We are leaving for Alaska tomorrow and I am determined to stick to my plan. I could probably undo half, or more, of all that I have done and what the hell sense does that make.
I have made it through bonfires w/ smores, birthdays w/ desserts, etc. I can certainly stay on plan while in America's Last Frontier.
I have made little tiny cheats here and there without any real punishment (maybe maintaining when I could have lost), but no more cheating now.
I just had an egg white omelet for lunch, and it looked like dessert:
1/2 c egg whites
Several drops Milk Chocolate Liquid Stevia (an artificial sweetener w/o carbs, calories, sugar)
top with: Redi Whip, Walden Farms Sugar-Free Chocolate Sauce, and perhaps some cinnamon if it floats your boat.
YUMMY!!!!! I took a picture that I'll have to post later (because our real internet took a dump and I'm stealing this signal). I was amazed at how tasty it looked, and how tasty it was.
Probably won't post again until at least a week from now... not sure if I'll have a scale.
Join KIMKINS now, people!!
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