Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Ya Want Fries With That?

I recently began the journey of looking for a full-time job. We are in such a way that we need me to start bringing in some income. I have my Masters' degree in Clinical Psychology, which is pretty much useless without 3000 supervised hours, which I haven't gotten because I've been a SAHM for the past five years.

I've applied for a position within the Dept. of Corrections that would utilize my degree, and so far that is the only place that has received my resume.

I was speaking with a friend of mine last week and casually brought up that I might be interested in looking into becoming a Personal Assistant. (The idea of organizing and scheduling someone else's life really appeals to me.) He says to me, "Actually, I'm looking for just that and you were the first person I thought of."

To make a long story short, I will be earning a very nice compensation for becoming his new P.A., working from home 85% of the time, and may even be doing some traveling with him (day trips). I will be gaining experience in a new field and best of all, I will still be able to stay home and raise my children.

The Walrus is opening up a whole bunch of doors for himself in the writing field. Note: If flying Midwest Express in November or December, look for a Milwaukee-centered article written by him!!

Things are starting to really change in this Year of the Pig. Fortune will find it's way into our home, pounds and pounds of fat will find it's way out (The Walrus and I are at something like 54 combined pounds lost). I have a friend who just received surprising, but excellent news, and I hope that similar news will eventually find it's way into our lives again. Right now, I'm content being a mother of two, but I will not give up on the dream to add to our family.

I just feel like saying...

... have Peace, my friends.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Future MILF Weigh-In

Start Weight: 229
Last Weigh-in: 200
Current Weight: 198
Loss: 2 lb
Total loss: 31 lbs

FINALLY!! I have entered ONEDERLAND once again, never to return. Seriously. I'm sick of my weight starting with a "2". F*%& you, 200s! You're gone forever!!!!

I had a major stall going on this week. Stuck at 200. It was taunting me, teasing me, saying "I won't let you lose 30, I won't let you get to onederland." But I kicked it's taunting ass, baby!

Kimkins works when you work it, people!

Here is a little email from my hubby after I told him I lost 2 lbs this morning (yeah, that's right... I lost it just in time for my MILF post today).

Hope he doesn't mind that I post it.

Just wanted to reiterate once again, how very, very,very proud I am of you for sticking to it and reaching onederland. Frustrating as it has been, you never gave up. You're well on your way to your final goal, and will get there. And I couldn't be happier for you.

Isn't he the greatest!

Here's to you reaching your goals! 'Til next time...

Friday, July 20, 2007

Future MILF Weigh-In

Start Weight: 229
Previous Weight: 203
Current Weight: 200
Lbs. lost: 3
Total Lost: 29

Gahhhh! I've been hanging around at 200 for a couple days. I have been pushing to lose that one little pound to get to a 30 lb. loss and to get back into onederland (forever). Well, I technically have until tomorrow to hit my 199 goal. I have a 4 lb. per week goal, from Saturday to Saturday, which would put me at 127 by the end of November. That one little pound is nagging at me, taunting me, like an unwanted party guest who you wish would have left around 7pm but is staying to the wee hours of the morning. Out, damned pound!

I got to the YMCA three times so far this week, with plans to go again tonight. Last night I only got a 20 min. workout in due to some plans I had with Supermiffy, but I made sure to work it hard in those 20 minutes, burning 311 calories.

I had to attend a funeral the other day and I felt so uncomfortable in my clothes, but for different reasons than usual. Everything was too big. It's rather uncouth to hook your fingers inside your pants and hitch them up when at a funeral, but it had to be done. My 18Ws are about to be history. When I am out of that size for good, I am getting rid of them. Kimkins has a clothing exchange thing going, so I'll probably utilize that.

Wish me luck on that pound. And by my calculations, I should be down to 195ish this time next week, so stay tuned fellow MILFers.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

It Was A Good Day!

Today, the girls and I went to Bay Beach with their grandparents. What an amazing place that costs little ($.25 per ticket, and the rides are not more than 2 tickets; kiddie rides are one), even at the concession stands. I think a hamburger was $1.50. (Don't get the chicken filet - it's fried!). After several rides, watching the smiles on my girls' faces, lunch, ice cream (none for me, of course), and a terrible storm that knocked over a tree, we headed home. We were tired, dirty, stinky, and oh-so-happy. Miss Serious asked that I get a job there so she can be there every day while I work. A two-hour ride is a bit much for a commute, my dear, but I do love your enthusiasm!

We stopped at home to get The Walrus and then headed to the YMCA. My dear friend, Supermiffy, called and talked me into joining a Body Pump class with her tonight. I couldn't bear not to do my usual workout, but time only allowed me 15 minutes for it, and I burned 235 cals. in that time. Well, then I did Body Pump for an hour. I hate that workout, but it hurts so good. It's a cardio/strength training mix, and I am not very strong. Ah, well, I worked out for an hour and half today, so THERE! LOL.

We got a new dog and I have to stop being a brokeass SAHMama and get a job. More on those updates later.

Going to watch Aliens, now. I've never seen it.

P.S. Go see 1408. It's great, and John Cusack totally rocks my boat.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Future MILF Weigh-In

Start Weight: 229 (yup, I'm posting all the numbers from now on)
Last Week: 206
Current Weight: 203
Lost: 3 lb.
Total Loss: 26 lbs.
Lbs. to goal: 73

Woo hoo! I love having the scale drop a pound three days in a row! The Walrus keeps saying "You're taking shape", referring to some new curves I am developing. I finally got brave enough to tell him my weight. Why the hell not. At least it's dropping, rather than rising.

When we're able to get to the YMCA, the kids and The Walrus swim while I go on a treadmill for 30 minutes - one with the ability to have a massive incline. My goal is to burn the same amount of calories in the last 15 minutes as I do in the first 15. Yesterday, I burned 163 and 175, for a grand total of 338. I love knowing (even based on my age and weight) how many I am burning each day.

I am soooo excited for that day when I see 199, as I will again be in the 100s, and that will also mark a 30 lb. loss.

Wow, it feels right this time.

There is no stopping me now!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

On December 31st, 2006 I woke up in Newton, MA, right outside of Boston. We were on a mini-vacation for the holiday. I was 13.5 weeks pregnant with my third child.

The bleeding began at about 5:00 a.m. and I knew it wasn't good. I had bleeding in the beginning, but an ultrasound at 9 weeks showed a baby with a heartbeat. I thought I was in the clear. I spent the following 4 weeks under the impression that I was carrying a growing baby. I was even convinced that I was feeling flutters.

Anyway, the bleeding began and when my husband woke up I said we should go to the hospital.

To make a long story short, that baby must have stopped growing shortly after my wonderful ultrasound and we left that baby in the hospital on New Year's Eve. It is a very painful memory of a very painful experience.

It took me a few weeks to decide to get on with life instead of eating my way through it. I joined Weight Watchers, lost a few pounds, then gave it up. I really had no desire to take care of myself or my body. Rather, I wanted to defile it, punish it, fill it with poison.

But after seeing my doctor for my annual exam, I decided that I didn't need to continue to hate my body for losing that baby. I could take control of it and create a healthier environment in which to grow the next baby to full term.

The Walrus and I are not trying to get pregnant right now. In fact, we are actively avoiding it. My reward for getting to a healthy, non-obese weight will be to try to have another baby. It is only fair to the baby, to me, and to my poor body that reaches weights of great proportions when I am pregnant and obese. I delivered an 11 lb. 12 oz baby (via c-section) in 2005.

That's the reason for all this craziness. It's not just about being cute pregnant, you know, like those women with the little basketball bellies that just look adorable and not like they swallowed a hippo. But it's about being a healthy vessel in which that baby will grow.

I am not saying that I lost that baby because I am overweight, but that baby is on my mind right now because he or she would have been born this week. I was due on July 4th.

Independence Day.

So, I am doing it for me, for my health, and for the health of my next pregnancy. I am doing it because I have to, and it's time for me to stop being selfish.

Just some thoughts I wanted to get down somewhere.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Future MILF Weigh-In... Via Alaska

Last weigh-in weight: --6
Current weight: --6
Pounds lost: 0
Total Lost: 23 lbs.

Thankfully, actually, the scale hasn't budged. Actually, last Saturday, the day we left for Alaska, I was up two pounds, but I wound up getting my period that day, so that explains that. I didn't weigh again until Tuesday, where I was back down to --6, and that is where I sit today. I am happy with this. While I would have liked to lose while on vacation, I am fine with not gaining, either.

It is very hard to do Kimkins on vacation, but I am trying. We get a gourmet breakfast every day that always includes an egg dish, but I am not certain how the eggs are made - probably with milk. I have had some sausage, but have skipped all the toast, fruit, bread and dessert products. I have been doing well that way. Sometimes I have "cheated" and had a wrap sandwich with the wrap, or a little too much dressing (I don't always know the content of everything I am eating, whereas at home, I am pretty much on top of that). I am not charting on Fitday, but will return to that once I get back home.

I really have a serious eating problem, I think. I contemplate quitting this plan at least six times a day (especially when I saw the chocolate-filled pie at the Farmer's Market). I think of all the things I could eat, and I could binge! The amount of food out there that I shouldn't be eating far outweighs what I can eat, and it's torture! But, I just keep thinking about how much it would set me back, how much I really fucking want to be a MILF, and I also think about how 23 lbs. gone has made my hips stop hurting when I get out of the car, my feet stop hurting in the morning when I get out of bed, how it made that dress fit when it didn't fit a few weeks ago, how I can bend over at the waist without losing my breath, how I easily cross my legs, how my pants/capris hang off of me, how I can see myself smaller in the mirror, how I only have 7 more pounds until 30 gone (and that will mark another major goal), how Miss Serious comments daily on how I look smaller, how I don't cringe at looking at my reflection in store windows...

Need I say more? Check out Milfy on the right side of this page. That is (sort of) what I will look like at 130, which I believe is at the top of my range for my height of 5'1". Should I go farther than that? We will see. All I know is I feel better about myself, my strength, my choices.

It's so worth it.