WW Weigh-In

Weighed in last night at WW. I will save that report for Friday.

I simply cannot get ahold of whatever is ahold of me. I just want to STUFF my face lately!! I don't know what is up with that.

However, I've kicked the exercise up a bunch of notches with a Step class on Monday, H.A.B.I.T. (Hips, Abs, Butt, Incredible Thighs) on Tuesday, and Body Pump (working out with a barbell) this morning. Yay me! I'm really proud of myself for getting to the Y three days already.

Have you ever been so bored/stir crazy at home that you just pack the kids in the car and drive around aimlessly? That was what I did today. I can't eat, can't spend money... what else is there?

Do you ever get sick of playing Princess? As in, Ariel, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast? This has become a nightly routine for Miss Serious and I - acting out the entire movies from start to finish. I guess I should be happy that she has that kind of imagination.

I am feeling so restless today. It's hard to explain. I have ideas I want to build upon, and projects that either need follow-through or total abandonment. I am going to shamelessly plug myself (snicker) and tell you that I am a Passion Diva, as well as a Stuffer Of Friends. I also signed up to sell Cookie Lee Jewelry, but haven't pursued that as I should... I lost my mojo sometime in December. But I have been super psyched about another opportunity, Inspired Aroma, which sells coffees and teas. I don't know if I am hooked on direct sales, or just hooked on the newness of things, the excitement of trying something different. But I am having a party and EVERYONE is super-excited about it. I have over 20 people coming! If that doesn't help build some excitement, I don't know what will!

My girls are running around in bathing suits right now. Bless their innocence and lack of a need for negative self-image. Reason number 369 to lose the weight.

So...

Trying not to eat the whole bag of 94% fat free popcorn?

Burn it. That'll do it.

The Weekend

Checkout http://nicolewardall.yourpassionconsultant.com, browse the "Passion Toys" and go to Mom-O-Matic for further instructions.

This was a good weekend for us, activity-wise. I had been looking forward to Saturday for quite awhile. It started off with me getting a Papaya Enzyme Facial from my mom at the salon she works at. This involves lots of cool goop being spread on your face with a little paint brush. It feels so nice. Then she proceeds to give you a leg and foot massage and then an upper back and arm and hand massage. I looooooovvvve me some hand massages.

After that, I headed downstairs to get my feet all pampered and pretty. Full-on Spa Pedicure, complete with sugar scrub, mask, and foot massage (yes, that's right, my feet got massaged twice). Finish it off with a nice, not-too-showy color and you've got pretty tootsies.


Spa manicure next with paraffin wax treatment (my hands get so dry they crack and bleed in the winter). That TOTALLY worked! My hands have looked and felt much better since Saturday.

Then my in-laws came down to watch the girls so The Walrus and I could head to a game night at our friends' house. Oh what fun! Sitting around with a bunch of adults, talking like adults, saying adult things, playing games, laughing... it was just what this Mama needed after a week on Vomit Detail.

And you know, a party always comes complete with snacks - lots of good snacks. I had kept all of my flex points for this weekend. I didn't want to go too nuts, and I actually did pretty great at the party. There was a kick-ass artichoke dip there and I had some of that (yeah, I know, not too great, but I could have eaten more), and there were cookies (I had a few), fruit, veggies, chips, chips, chips, etc. I skipped the cake, most of the chips. The point is, I showed restraint. I did much better than I would have if I wouldn't have been On Program.

The next day was a corned beef and cabbage dinner at my Nana's house. My Irish blood runs greener on days like this... I love this meal. So does The Walrus, though more so when he hasn't had a few too many the night before. I am not as proud of myself with this experience. I think I just threw in the towel at one point, eating a brownie, but I was able to skip the angel food cake - one of my favorites. So there's that, I guess.

Off to the YMCA today where Miss Serious will be in a class and I'll check Miss Silly into Kid Care for the first time and I can work out for an hour, then maybe take a little swim.

I weigh in at WW tomorrow. I gotta work off that corned beef meal!!

Ooops, slight misunderstanding...

I was wondering why people thought I lost five pounds, but looking back at my post I see it. When I put --5, I meant my current weight on my home scale now ends with a 5 (and I leave the first two digits blank)... and for the record, my current WW weight ends in an 8.

Sorry for the confusion.

Miss Silly was on the mend today after a bit of a "if she throws up again you'll have to take her to the hospital" scare last night. Thankfully, we seem to be in the clear. I am so sick of vomit I could vomit.

Miss Serious was playing at a friend's house today and her friend, a 5 year-old, BIT her. Drew blood. Gross. How many 5 year-olds still bite? I've been lucky with my kids not being physically aggressive. Miss Serious is a button-pusher, that's for sure, and Miss Silly is highly stubborn (thank you, Walrus), but neither have been biters or hitters.

I wish I had some clever, witty things to say, but I've had a pretty boring week. I did, however, make it to the YMCA and rode a bike for 30 minutes (went 10 miles) and then did a treadmill-like machine that makes you feel like you're hiking up a mountain. Know how you get the pools of sweat in your bra? I got it in my underwear. Weird.

Did you ever notice that when you're a big girl and try to buy cute underwear it looks less cute because, well, it's still big underwear?

Future M.I.L.F. Weigh-In One:

I know that I've just had you guys waiting in utter anticipation for this number. See, my Weigh-in day at WW is Tuesday nights. I am not quite sure how to coincide that with Weigh-in Day for MILFs, so for now, unless otherwise instructed by the M.I.L.F. Diva, I am going to use my Tuesday weight for weigh-in days.

And without further ado:

Pounds lost: 3.8

Woooo hoooo! That's on the first week of WW. Thank you, thank you very much. Doesn't make me any less obese, but I'll get there.

I've decided I'm going to weigh-in on our home scale on Fridays, too. Maybe this is overkill and unnecessary but what the hell. Who's gonna care? So, next week I'll post my Tuesday weight loss as well as my Friday weight-loss. So, my at-home weight today is:

--5

Ha! You thought I would post it in it's entirety, didn't ya? Nope! Actually, that's about 3 or so pounds down from the last time I weighed on that scale, but that scale is unreliable.

I need a little help here. I don't understand where this is coming from, but thoughts of resentment toward losing weight are creeping into my head. Getting a little peeved about not being able to eat what I want, etc. I hate when I start to feel like that because it's so easy to betray myself, and then I can really stuff my face. During my last weight-loss venture I did the Fat Smash Diet, as seen on Celebrity Fit Club on Vh-1, and I lost 10 or so pounds and then one day I ate a whole box of macaroni and cheese. Why do I do this to myself? I have no discipline.

But, if not now, when? Right? I have to do it. If you're this full of self-loathing appearance-wise, then you need to just step up to the plate and do it, right?

Because, if not now, when?

Have you ever been stretched?

Miss Silly has been sick since Monday, as previously mentioned. Miss Serious has been relatively patient and cooperative given the fact that she is three. Being stuck in the house and constantly cleaning up vomit has left me a little ornery and high-strung.

Today I pulled Miss Serious aside and thanked her for her cooperation and patience this week. I told her I intended to reward her with a special treat.

Me: I don't want you to feel left out. It's easy to feel left out when your sister is sick.
Her: I feel left out.
Me (surprised, actually): You do?
Her: Yes. What does "left out" mean?
Me: If you don't know what it means, then...
Her: I am so stretched out.
Me: What?
Her: I am so stretched out.
Me: Stressed out?
Her: Yes. Stressed out.

Chuckle chuckle. Give the kid a Dilly Bar (5 points).

In weight related news, I am feeling sooo bingey lately. I think it's the boredome, but my hands just want to stuff my face. Thank goodness there isn't a large bag of plain M & Ms in this house. I would enjoy them one by precious one. Mmm Mmm.

Weigh-in for M.I.L.Fers is tomorrow. Are you on pins and needles?

I've got a secret...

Tonight was my second weigh-in at WW and I know how much I lost (or gained, or stayed the same), but being a newly dedicated future M.I.L.Fer I am going to wait until Friday, weigh-in day for M.I.L.Fers, before I post. So, nanny-nanny boo boo.

Miss Silly has been sick for two days now, redecorating each room on the first floor with lovely, varying shades of oranges, browns, and partially digested foods. Why does she only desire chocolate soy milk right now? Between the regurgitation and the snowy weather, I hadn't left my house but once - to go grocery shopping - since Saturday night. I'm no homebody. I need to be out and about, interacting with other adults, away from the mesmerizing glow of Playhouse Disney.

So, I was very excited to take Miss Serious to her dance class today, and then go to my WW meeting.

I've been doing rather well sticking to my target POINTS. I had a total binge yesterday afternoon (Hi, my name is Nikki and I am an emotional eater. Boredom really makes me a victim.), yet managed to not go over my POINTS. I guess it helps that I binged on pita bread and hummus, yogurt and granola.

Still trying to think of a name for my inner food addict. The Walrus is suggesting names of people from my past that I would like to drown. Er, I mean, forget. Jenders is in the running, and so is Nylle (read that last one backwards because who wants to constantly say the actual name of someone you despise, right?), and he thought Pigerella was too cutesy and cruel. I am accepting entries to be put into a drawing to win all of my plus-size clothes when I shrink outta them in a few months. Good luck.

Speaking of my past, I sure wish I was as fat now as I thought I was back then. Don't you hate how you look at pictures of your teenage self with the low self-esteem and great ass and boobs that never produced milk, and you wonder where all that self-loathing came from back then because if you only knew what lie ahead...

...stretch marks. Lots and lots of stretch marks.

I had that one coming...

It's inevitable. Food goes in the living room, food gets on the floor. But usually only if it's ravioli, chocolate milk, open-face jelly sandwiches, or, in this case, strawberry applesauce.

I walk into the living room and find an overturned strawberry applesauce container on the living room floor. And then across the floor are millions of gallons of applesauce splatters. Man, that stuff can travel.

I was upset with Miss Serious because she had evidently knocked it over while jumping up to run into the kitchen to talk to me, but never mentioned that it had spilled. Several minutes had lapsed before I saw the mess and asked her why she didn't tell me, or why she didn't clean it up herself (see, earlier in the day she had spilled an ENITRE pitcher of Crystal Light Raspberry Ice drink on the kitchen floor - thank goodness I hate carpeted kitchens - and just sat there while hubby and I mopped up the mess).

Me: Where was your head, Miss Serious?
Her: It's on my neck, where it's supposed to be. What do you think?

Damn three year-olds. They always have a comeback.

In food-related news, I had a surprisingly excellent treat-filled weekend and didn't go over in POINTS! In fact, I was under .5 POINTS each day. Holy shit! You know what this means??? (insert your favorite "epiphany" music here) I CAN eat like a normal person, I CAN have lots of yummy treats! I can do it in moderation!

My head is spinning from all of these new-found revelations.

OH OH OH!!! I also have to mention that we've had our house on the market for a year - and we've been living in our new one for over a year, so yeah, we're paying two mortgages on a single-family income and eating out of garbage cans (which is probably why I'm staying within my POINTS) because two mortgages are a LOT of mortgages. Anyway, finally, yesterday our dear, stumped realtor calls to say we have an offer. Our FIRST offer!!!

I. Am. So. Relieved.

I was kidding about eating out of garbage cans, though.

I never cease to amaze myself

It is no secret that I love food. I love the tastes and the textures. I don't necessarily enjoy eating as an activity, and do it rather fast so I can move on with life, but food... yeah, I love food.

Especially pizza.

The Walrus and I were planning to have Papa Murphy's Take N Bake pizza tonight... even had the POINTS figured out eariler in the week. For the portion I would normally eat, it would have been 22.5 POINTS. And I think that was for 2/3 of a half of the pizza (he gets his half with sausage and pepperoni, and the girls and I get plain cheese). So, knowing I couldn't survive until 7:00pm on 7.5 calories, I planned to use some Flex POINTS tonight. And boy, was I looking forward to that pizza!

So, dinner time comes and I decided to cut my slices smaller than normal, and I paid a little more attention to eating slowly. So, blah blah blah, etc., when I decided to stop eating the pizza it turned out I had only consumed half of my planned amount. What? How did I do this? Is "strength" beginning to creep into my brain?

I had 3.5 POINTS left after dinner. I enjoyed a WW dessert for 3 POINTS and I am finishing the day, albeit a bit hungry, with .5 POINT left.

I am a little bit proud today, having held off on eating all that pizza. Maybe I can do this?

I weigh in at WW on Tuesday night. We'll see if this newfound restraint is paying off.

In other news, Miss Serious (who will soon be 4 years-old) wrote a song tonight. It goes a little something like this:

I love my Mama/I love my Daddy.
I love all of you/You are my family.

It's like a rich, sugary dessert. So sweet. :-)

'Night.

A WW WTF moment...

So, yeah, I broke down and joined Weight Watchers. Can't really afford it, but can I afford not to? I swear, the universe is going to start charging me rent for the extra space I've been using. Ugh.

Anyway, so I've been counting POINTs for three days.
Day One: .5 under, thank you very much.
Day Two: Went 1 over (on purpose), using one Flex POINT. You're allowed 35.
Day Three: It's 9:30pm and I have 10 POINTs left. WTF?

The words "I could have a quarter pounder" came out of my mouth. Geez Louise, am I ever gonna figure this out? Eat some apples, big girl.

Rode a stationary bike for about 40 minutes today and earned 3 activity points for that. Been drinking so much water that Charmin is going to honor me at their next Customer of the Year convention (if they have one).

Thinking of quitting Curves and joining the YMCA. Fun for the whole family, and a lot more exercisery options.

So, I guess I better go eat something. I'm starved.

Yeah, you look it.

If not now, when?

Okay, now is the time. And not like the other times that were "the time". This is really it.

I've looked in the mirror and seen the great white expanse of my flesh taking up more space than it ever has.

Too-large, saggy breasts that always seem to be looking down? Check.

Squishy, road-map of a tummy? Check.

Extra-wide, extra-thick, cellulite-ridden thighs? Check.

Bra overhang? Check.

Whoa, where did that ass come from??? Uh, check.

Yes, now is the time.